Writing Your Own Vows? Here’s How to Make Them Heartfelt and Real
Writing your own wedding vows can feel a bit like standing on a stage with the world’s eyes on you — exciting, terrifying, and deeply personal all at once. But trust me: there’s nothing more memorable than words that come straight from the heart.
As a celebrant, I’ve witnessed everything from perfectly polished speeches to beautifully messy, tear-inducing declarations of love — and here’s the secret: the best vows are the ones that feel like you.
Here’s a guide to writing vows that are heartfelt, real, and maybe even a little fun.
1. Start with Why
Before you think about rhyming, flowery language, or Instagram-worthy lines, ask yourself:
Why do you love your partner?
What makes them them?
How do you want to show up for them every day?
Your vows should reflect your love story and the promises you truly mean. This is your chance to get specific - inside jokes, shared adventures, or even the way they make your morning coffee just right.
2. Keep It Personal, Not Performative
It’s easy to fall into the trap of “sounding like a movie.” But the vows that stick with guests (and make everyone laugh or cry) are the ones that feel honest. Think less Shakespeare, more your words. Simple, sincere language beats fancy phrases every time.
3. Make Promises That Matter
Vows are, first and foremost, promises. And they don’t need to be grandiose - small, meaningful promises often land hardest:
“I promise to always dance in the kitchen with you.”
“I promise to remind you where your keys are… sometimes.”
“I promise to love you fiercely, even when life gets messy.”
Notice how these are both relatable and heart warming? That’s exactly the vibe to aim for.
4. Structure Helps
Even heartfelt vows benefit from a little structure:
Start with a personal reflection or story.
Share what you love about your partner.
Make your promises.
Close with a sentiment about your future together.
This keeps your vows cohesive and ensures they flow naturally when you’re standing in front of everyone.
5. Practice, But Don’t Overthink
Read them out loud to yourself - even to your dog, if needed! - to see how they sound. Practicing helps with nerves and pacing, but don’t try to memorise them word-for-word unless you want to. It’s okay to glance at your notes and take your time.
6. Add Your Unique Touch
Humour, poetry, song lyrics, a quote - anything that feels authentic to you as a couple. Your vows should sound like you, not a template from Pinterest. The more genuine, the more unforgettable.
The Takeaway
Writing your own vows is a gift - to your partner, to your ceremony, and to yourself. They don’t need to be perfect, they need to be real. And the best part? No one else can ever say your words quite like you do.
So, grab a notebook, a cup of coffee, and start scribbling. The world is about to hear your love story, in your very own words.